Questions to ask your kids instead of "how was school?" + Bonus Statements that show you care

You know the drill right? Your child gets home from school, tosses their backpack on the floor, and starts to grab a snack, and you ask "how was school today?", only to be met with "fine." "What did you learn?" "Nothing." Well read on, because we've drafted 50 open-ended questions designed to (hopefully) spark a conversation that extends beyond a one word answer. These can be adjusted slightly for children in different grades.

General check in questions:

1. What was the best part of your day?

2. What was the hardest part of your day?

3. Describe your day in three words.

4. What was for lunch today?

5. Was lunch: delicious, great, good, okay, revolting, should be outlawed?

6. Who did you sit with at lunch?

7. What is your favorite school subject right now?

8. What was something funny that happened in school?

9. What was something unusual that happened at school?

10. Tell me how you helped someone else today?

11. Tell me how someone else helped you today?

12. Did anything happen that confused you today?

Leaning & Academics

13. Tell me about your ____ teacher.

14. If you could give today a grade, what grade would you give it?

15. Tell me something you learned today that you didn't know before (doesn't have to be academic!)

16. Which subject felt hardest today?

17. Did you teachers tell you any funny stories today?

18. What questions did you answer in class?

19. What is something you'd like to learn more about?

20. Is there anything that you feel you need more support with? How can I help?

Specials & Creativity

21. Did you have art, music, gym (insert specific specials here)?

22. Did you get to spend time outside today?

23. Did you get to create anything today?

24. Did you build anything today?

25. If today was a color, what color would it be? Why?

26. Do you have any songs stuck in your head from music class?

27. If you could add a specials class, what would it be?

28. What specials class(es) do you wish you had more frequently?

Friendships & Socialization

29. Who did you spend the most time with today?

30. Who did you play with at recess?

31. Did you make any friends?

32. Did you see anyone being kind today?

33. Did you see anyone being unkind today?

34. What is our plan if someone is unkind to you?

35. Who is someone you would like to have a playdate with/see outside of school?

36. Did you see anyone who looked lonely today?

37. How can you be a friend to someone who is lonely?

Feelings, Emotions, and Mental Health

38. When did you feel happy today?

39. Did anything happen that made you feel frustrated?

40. Did you feel anxious or nervous today?

41. What are some things you can do when you start to feel nervous in school?

42. Who are some people - friends, adults, etc., that you feel safe talking to if you need help at school?

43. Did you feel left out at all?

44. Was there a moment today you felt super confident?

45. How have you been feeling about school lately?

46. Was there a time today that you disagreed with someone? How did you handle it?

47. Did you help anyone who was struggling?

48. Do you feel like you can stand up for yourself or others? If not, how can I help empower you?

49. If you got a re-do on today, what would you do differently?

50. Were there any mistakes you made today that you learned from?

Statements that Show you Care

Let's face it, sometimes it feels like you're interviewing your child about their (probably don't ask all 50 questions in one sitting!) Here are some statements that can show your kids that you genuinely care about them:

-"I love hearing all the details about your day. It helps me feel connected to you."

-"I love watching you become your own person."

-"I was thinking about you today when ___."

-"I know how hard you've been working on ___."