Imposter Syndrome: What it is & How to Deal

This blog is written and maintained by non-clinical staff. Therefore, the contents should be taken as psychoeducation and entertainment only. If you are experiencing a life-threatening emergency, please call 911. For mental health crises that are not life-threatening, please call 988.

Imposter Syndrome is a psychological phenomenon where individuals doubt their abilities and fear being exposed as frauds despite evidence of their competence. Or, a definition I personally prefer, imposter syndrome is worrying that other people are judging you as harshly as you judge yourself (I cannot find the author of that quote. If you know if please comment and I will update!)

Many of us have felt imposter syndrome before - at work, with friends, in our parenting. It's this deep sense that somehow you've fooled or tricked people into thinking you're accomplished at something but you fear that you aren't. You might think "any moment they're going to see me for who I really am", "I just got lucky", or wonder if everyone else can see "through" you.

I should point out that while imposter syndrome is a real, recognized psychological phenomenon, it is not classified as a psychiatric disorder,

Anyway, common symptoms of imposter syndrome, including: perfectionism, overworking, avoiding challenges, discounting successes, holding back from reaching attainable goals, an irrational fear of failure, feeling unworthy of affection or attention, people pleasing, low self-esteem, and critical thoughts about yourself. It can be driven by comparing yourself to others, having unrealistic standards, and internalized expectations or pressure.

Here's a secret - pretty much everyone has experienced imposter syndrome at some point (especially high-achievers and people working in helping professions; yup, even therapists!).

Here are some tips for dealing with feeling like an imposter:

Challenge Negative Thoughts

Let's say it's your first day at your new job. You've worked hard for years to land this dream job, and suddenly you're wondering how on earth you fooled them into hiring you and panicking that you shouldn't be there. Freeze yourself there. You can even literally say "stop!" out loud to stop the negative thought spiral. Think about evidence that challenges that negative thought. Do I really not deserve this position? Unless you seriously lied in your interview (and that's a different story) then yes. Do you have the education and experience? Yes? It sounds like you do know what you're doing and earned the new job. Replace the panicky feelings that you don't belong with something positive; perhaps "I worked really hard to get here. I belong here." Repeat it as much as you need to (it can even help to set a reminder in your phone to repeat positive phrases to yourself. Yes I am actually serious. Try it!)

Identify Your Feelings

In the above example, you're probably feeling nervous, maybe excited for the new job. Focusing on and identifying what you actually feel can reframe the fear that you don't belong into, oh, I'm nervous because this is a new job.

Pick an Affirmation/Mantra (or Two or Three...)

"I belong here", "I can do this", "I've got this", etc. can be incredibly helpful things to say or repeat to yourself during moments of self-doubt. Like I said above, you might find it helpful to repeat positive affirmations to yourself throughout the day to ward off negative thoughts. Saving a reminder in your phone or posting sticky notes throughout your house can be helpful suggestions to pro-actively repeat them.

Talk to a Friend

Or a mentor. Or your awesome Caring Conversations Therapeutic Services, LLC therapist ;). Talking about things, giving them a voice, often makes things seem more manageable. And, by speaking your fears out there, you might just realize you aren't the only one struggling.

Take Note of Your Accomplishments

If hanging your degree in your office helps you challenge your negative thoughts, go for it. If you need to keep a list on your "notes" app of all you've accomplished, do that. See what helps you personally.

Remember - you are so much more than your accomplishments.

Right out of college, I started my MSW (Master's in Social Work) degree. I wanted to be a therapist and work with kids, but when I started dating my now-husband, realized that he was learning so much more in his Marriage & Family Therapy program and I was definitely not going to be equipped for therapy. I ended up stopping the program. It's really tempting to beat myself up for not finishing, or to take dropping out as a failure. However, if I reframe the situation, I switch "I dropped out of grad school", to "I chose to stop a program that wasn't serving me. I'm happy where I am". And it's true. I don't beat myself up anymore over not finishing (well, mostly. The student loan payment for the degree I didn't finish is pretty rough). Own your accomplishments, because they do help combat imposter syndrome. But remember. You are more than your accomplishments. So much more.

While incredibly common, imposter syndrome can leave us feeling very negatively about ourselves and like a fraud. I hope that with the above tips, you are able to overcome it. If it feels like too much, please reach out for help. Caring Conversations Therapeutic Services, LLC is prepared to help challenge those negative thoughts that keep you stuck feeling like an imposter. Please reach out for a free consultation or to get on our schedule - 724.201.9815.